Tuesday, August 23, 2011

voices.

If we speak amongst crowds,
our voice will be
drowned by shouts of others
we will be one of them who
lose their voice speaking when everyone does
if we speak in silence
we may be hushed
pushed down
mocked
spirit destroyed


if what we have to say is more important than life itself
let it be heard
what we are trying to say is unheard, being spoken over by others
will those who need to hear, hear?
or will they be trying to hard to shout over our voices.

freedom

religion entangles all of us
suffocating
everything we believed in

surrender of all happiness
destroying all love
unknown to ourselves
it hides deception and lies

laws and unjust rules
we will no longer stand as the silent ones
freedom calls us home

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Friends.

Stanley greeted me with a hug and a smile and giant shout 'ARIANA'. He also showed me his phone (his mums) with all the songs on it which he was listening to. He started mumbling to 'grab somebody sexy tell em hey...give me everything tonight.. mhhmmhhmm yeah yeah'. Aww bless.
Such tiny bodies, with big ears and good memories.

He fought over holding my hand and got in trouble for it. He told me off when I dissappeared for half an hour with a 'Ariana. Where have you been? and where do you think your going?' I must say he looked like he was about to cry. I gave a GIANT hug and said' With you, to build a christchurch (apparently that's what towers are called these days). We played and destroyed and became best friends.


Thursday, August 11, 2011

andmyheartlovesyetagain

So.

Where to start.

Here I guess.

Well on Tuesday I started practicum in a little preschool about 5 minute drive away. Flip. 25 children and I love them so much already.

I can honestly say my passion is children. Their innocence and honesty makes me want to hug them so tight and show them off to the world and say ' this is how we are meant to live'. With the courage to speak up when we want something, and the knowledge to know when we have done wrong. The honesty to say you are being mean and the freedom of not always 'having' to be nice to everyone.

One little boy (who i wrote about in my last blog) Ricky. He is adorable. I love him to pieces. We sat in silence and built towers. Another little boy Gideon came and played and asked 'big' people questions, we also sat and played and built tower he gave me hugs.

an Ethipoian gir (who speaks Pukapuka - the language that they speak here, it originates from the Cook Islands) has pretty much latched onto me. She flings herself on me when I am least expecting it and makes me realise, children are unpredictale. Who wants to be a normal, predictable person anyways?

Afilia is a little foster girl. Breaks my heart at the thought of somene wanting to give up this child, or any child in particular. Breaks and makes me angry. She is lovely and very straightforward.

One thing that made me smile was when I first came in today my other friend Henry came and gave me a hug and said, 'Where is your mum?' *At home* 'And your dad?' *At work* 'Oh, did they let you come here?' *Yes. I'm here to play with you* ...another hug.

I love love love this beyond words. My heart is for once not aching every second of my life. If this is my 3rd day  I can only imagine what its going to be like when I leave. Ah. But for now I will enjoy and love these kids and let them love me back :)

little eyes

your little eyes look deep into my own
innocence and honesty hit me profoundly
your looking so deep within me
you smile you hug you see
my heart pounds for you already
everything I am is in love with every piece of you
your little eyes
your little smile
your beautiful face

you never speak a word
you just see me, smile and run
reaching up your arms you don't realize,
how my heart loves you oh so much
I pick you up and you hug me tight
I kiss your head, cheek and hand
So much love in no words
but actions alone

what your little eyes have seen, I do not know
but with them you looked straight through me

little eyes are precious
they are unclouded with this world
truth and honesty pass over them
they see beauty in everything
with them they can conquer the world

your little eyes saw my heart
my heart will remember your litte eyes,

forever.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Love.

This family was the coolest ever. Their parents Mary and Emile, however you spell them were just so cool, as soon as we met them they just let us in their house play with their kids, take their kids places. They had such loving hearts and we would go over to see them everyday and sometimes just sit in their house for hour or so and just talk to them and play with the kids and just be a 'family' with them. I love them so much and so so so hope I get to see them soon. They made me feel at home and I am very happy to have met them and have them in my life. These are their kids (the oldest girl Alice who is 18 we didn't get a photo with her).

Methwi is 9 and he is the one on the right, Sammy is 7, Crishal is 4 and Georgia is 2. They are beautiful in everyway and I love them HEAPS.
P.s Crishal is the first little girl or child we met. She came over everymorning to say hi to us. The boys all missed school while we were there to play with their friends at the base. And Georgia is just Georgia the most adorable girl I have ever laid eyes on <3







Saturday, August 6, 2011

Missage.

Today has been a whole day of missing.
Missing Vanuatu and all the children and friends that we made, miss them with my whole heart and would go back in a heartbeat even if I just saw them once.
I miss the life there, the way people trust, love and are just so friendly. It is literally hard to be friendly here, I do try though. I guess its just weird going to SUCH a friendly happy place realising we need so much more love in our lives. Which isn't a bad thing.

Im missing India, the sounds, colours, and feel of that place. It is in my heart and has sunk in deep. I will always love it and that I know. I miss my second family that lives there, and my bestest friend Daya. I miss miss miss her, and her home.

I miss Zoe, our random texts, inside jokes, adventures and how we pretty much think the same, I miss our cups of tea and seeing her all the time. I miss her like I would miss a sister.

I miss my best friends up north (who happen to be my cousins) I miss the mischief we used to (and still :P) get up to. I miss how we can blab on for hours about nothing. I miss how we laugh so hard we literally lose our voices. I miss how we used to all live on the same farm. I miss them.

I just miss alot of things.
But im not going to cry over it because that is a waste of time, I'm just going to ring them, text them, skype them, laugh smile and love.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Thinking

So while I was at work I was just casually having a conversation with my self (in my head) about whether I thought about the youth going to Vanuatu as a 'missions' trip.

First thing I thought was , we are free, missions is a religious way of thinking.
Second thing was, where does the line of 'religious' thinking stop?

Like what I mean is, before we know it we will probably be saying going to church is religious, from my point of view anyways. I thought it over, and my opinion is entirely my own and I'm just sharing thoughts and don't have anything against others peoples thoughts...but, technically we did go on a missions trips, we are missionary's.
Definition of Missionary: A person sent on a religious mission, esp. one sent to promote Christianity in a foreign country.

So pretty much we are missionary's. Our mission is to tell everyone about God and everywhere, it may sound cliche but thats it...in my opinion.

I get why people say it sounds religious, cause I still think it does, but I think it holds more truth about what we are made to do than saying something else...(mind block).

We're on a mission for God, for me that is in other countries, with children, with people, with different cultures, cause that makes me the modern Mother Teresa? I already have the photos to prove.


Another thing I was thinking about it how we title ourselves, or should I say how others title themselves. Like, I believe that a man living in the middle of nowhere has as much ability to start a revival as does a 'well-known' pastor. Obviously this random man would be on fire for God otherwise my point wouldn't make sense. Sometimes I think we just need to trust each other WAY more and going to Vanuatu made me see that aswell. The majority of the time we won't trust someone because we haven't heard anything about them, or we have heard something about them. If a random guy came up to you on the street and started prophecing you may freak, and think should I believe this, but then again I don't know the guy... whereas if some random guy in your church (who you don't really know) came up and prophecied over you, I would say you would most likely accept it, simply because he goes to the same church as you, therefore he is probably on the same page otherwise he wouldn't be here. I don't know if this is making sense or not?


Hmmm. It could just be me but I think trust is such a huge thing. From personal experience I've trusted someone so much (was probably more than just trust I would say..but thats a different story) and then pretty much had it thrown away, along with my heart. It sucks. It is not a nice thing to go through at all. It sucks even more when you gave trust away so easily.

But I have also experience trust that has been broken yet it was so easily repaired based on the fact that love was in it, and love is pretty much the answer to everything. We forgave we forgot we loved. Simple.


Eh. I dunno I'm so tired don't think this is really going anywhere. But this is what I was thinking of all night, and I may or may not have put the wrong vegetables in this guy's sub because I was thinking of this or having a conversation in my head with myself...weirdo.

That's all for now. Maybe I'll have more tomorrow, I have a 9 hour shift should come up with plenty.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Verses.

So while I was flicking through my bible I read these verses...

Psalm 2vs 8 - Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession.

Proverbs 31vs 8,9 - Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Habakkuk 1vs5 - Look at the nations and watch.... and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.

Yeah. These spoke to me.